Circle of Trust

Let's go to where the root of all dating begins.

It begins with how we relate to people outside of our families. These are the people that sustain us. They are also the people that sometimes help introduce us to other people. These are the people we call our friends. Now degrees of friendships vary. But the rules are the same, whether acquaintance or friend there are certain rules that apply.

Rule One: Don't date friends unless you are explicit in your intentions. Like I said, these are the people who sustain you. The more you jerk them around emotionally, the more you're going to lose them. Once a potential relationship arises. You have to either shoot it down, or make your intentions clear. Don't do that we can fool around business but I won't say anything about if you don't. If you want to have a friend with benefits, that situation needs to be clear. People think all these rules are unnecessary because we feel trapped by them. They make us seem a little juvenile. We can mess around but not be affectionate? That sounds crazy right? No. It's not. Affection and sex are two ends of the same park. One side being the emotional and the other being the purely animalistic urge to (pardon my lack of tact) splurge...Sounds so wrong.

Rule Two:
If you know that two friends are in a "situation" you do not engage on either side. Because then you have the potential to lose both friends and tarnish your reputation. If you're a slut, in all honesty nobody's really going to care as long as it doesn't interfere with the group dynamic. You can slut up and down the Boulevard as long as it isn't a friend's ex, or especially someone's current "situation." These rules also involve how much of a friend you are to the parties involved. If you're a totally bitch and decide you don't care about the other person's feelings, then be careful. Because even if that other person isn't offended, that doesn't mean that others aren't watching and totally Judging! Yes, that's right. You get judged. Face it. People don't just take things at face value anymore. You gotta put your morals where your mouth is. Don't be a skank. Because it's unbecoming and Karma always has a way of coming back to get you. ALWAYS. ( I know that sounds personal right? Karma is serious business. I know you don't believe in Karma because of how bad things happen to good people. Well sometimes, you catch other people's Karma, or just misunderstand your Karma as punishment when it's really a life lesson. Whatever, Karma, God's plan... basically you reap what you sew. So don't sew anything skanky. Karma can be instant and delayed.)

Rule Three:
If you tell someone you want to be friends. Don't go back on it. If you know you're an extremely flirtatious drunk...just try to avoid that person. Because they're always going to want to be nice to you and you're always gonna let them. And genuinely nice people bruise easily...But to those genuinely nice people need grow a spine.

It's nice that you're nice and it's nice that you think it can get you everything. But sometimes, setting boundaries is the best course of action. Because no matter how much drunk kissing you do, none of that translates into a relationship in the real world. So stand up for yourself.

We're going to leave off with three rules for today. Learn them well and prosper...Did I miss out on anything? Let me know.

Rule Four:(As added by an anonymous reader.)
Being "new" to a group or a "lifestyle" - i.e. being gay - is not an excuse for shady behavior that we all know is against universal norms. so for all of you freshmen and "youngins" out there, stop it with the excuses! at the end of the day, you know what you want and what you don't. be honest with yourself and be honest with others.

(I totally agree with this rule. Don't give bullshit excuses. You're old enough to know what is acceptable. You're not new to life...what happened to the past 18+ years?)

The Promiscuity Passport

I recently decided I was going to do a Sex & the City inspired blog about dating in Miami. I hear so many relationship stories every so often that I can't help but comment and sort of try to find some middle ground in the area of right versus wrong. There's that whole grey area that will need to be covered also and I will try to address that as well. But for right now, it's a sort of a slapstick operation that we hope to see grow. I want to invite other writers to share opinions and experiences about the landscape of the Miami dating scene. Because it is such a unique cornucopia of dating styles and behaviors.

So the Dr is in. Let's do it.

So Why Promiscuity Passport?

I asked myself that question myself. Am I condoning people's promiscuity? No I'm not. I believe decisions are made on a personal basis and has no clear reflection on who you are if you aren't hurting anyone. As long as you're having good clean(safe) fun then I don't think you deserve to be demonized because you like sex. If you care to know, I prefer relationships. I just think giving yourself to someone is like one of the most awesome things you can do in this life as long as they do it in return. And you can't live your relationship by society's rules, but you can't ignore when things are going South. It's quite the balancing act, the intermingling of souls. I'm just a nostalgic idiot at times. So bare with me on this journey. Some of this stuff might seem implicit and Freshman oriented, but bad choices happen at every stage of life. And some things need to be EXPLICIT.

So my main point is, there are two instances when you are granted a Promiscuity Passport (in which case still includes safety)
1.) If you're extremely hott. (In which case people make up their own rules for you)

2.) If you are in some sort of crisis( i.e. Death or Big Break Up. ) or if you're Meredith from Grey's Anatomy. She's our favorite wasp who gets drunk and sleeps with inappropriate men. It's her thing.

And Point three was that it's a work in progress and I will come up with a better one.